Old people having sex alert!

Normally we wouldn’t really care about Elvira or Tom Jones, but the two of them having sexy time together was just too bizarre to ignore.

Elvira, real name Cassandra Peterson, recently confessed to Blender magazine that she lost her virginity to the It’s Not Unusual singer.

She was working as a nude dancer in Las Vegas and hooked up with the well-endowed Welshman.

Elvira explains, “Tom seemed gentlemanly and nice, so when he was jumping on me…I thought, ‘Well, if I’m ever gonna do this, it might as well be with Tom Jones.’”

“It was painful and horrible.”

In fact, what Tom was packing was soo huge, she had to get stitches after they had sex to sew herself back together.

Seriously.

Although he almost tore her in two and she said the experience was horrible, she went back for another round.

She adds, “I thought for sure we were gonna run away together and get married.”

“I went backstage to see him the next night, but he was with his two background singers… and was all over them. I was disgusted.”

That himbo!

After being traumatized by Sir Tom, Elvira then went on to date Elvis and become Mistress of the Dark.